I have to admit, I am a slave to the mighty calorie. It rules me- it is the boss of me. It controls my actions and eating habits all day e’ry day.
There are days I choose to be like a defiant child and ignore it. I pretend its value doesn’t exist and I drink beer or wine or even the occasional whiskey and eat nothing but Cheetos (my fav). I pretend I’m free without a calorie care in the world but it is a lie- a blatant lie!
As the sun sets on such days of fake calorie freedom, I find myself again in a state of obedience. I get back in line, follow the rules and respect the limits. It is as if I have to repent for the reckless behaviour of the day(s) before.
Although I know in my head that the only person I have to answer to is me, the calorie owns me damn it. It has more power over me than any other person, place or thing. Can anyone else hear the song ‘You’re so vain’ by Carly Simon playing right now?! I digress…
I have to admit however, my relationship with the calorie has improved of late. I have sweet-talked and convinced it to lessen its hold over me. It recently started going away on weekends allowing me more freedom to beer and Cheeto. It also cuts me slack on special occasions and holidays…particularly my birthday. I guess I have proven my loyalty to the calorie and it knows that after all the fun and shenanigans I will once again be committed and watchful.
We have arrived at a place of mutual respect the calorie and I. Come Monday mornings, “All hail the mighty calorie!!”